I think if the camera pulled out a little bit, we’d get to see Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey gagged and duct-taped in a warehouse basement watching looped 30 Rock re-enactments starring the same creepy old guy playing every part.

Apparently there are no plans to release the game outside of Japan, which is an incredibly stupid decision. I mean, look at it! There’s even a polar bear in there for no good reason! Doesn’t Nintendo of America realize how many stoners would download this game in a second, no matter how expensive it was?

But no, today everybody loses. Nintendo won’t be raking in that extra dough, and the U.S. Stoner Population won’t get to play a video game where they can run through walls and majestically tackle other half-naked muscle men as a polar bear wearing a speedo.

FRIDAY 5/15 – 11PM
Tremendosaur on The Scott Cushman Show @ Ultimate Improv (954 Gayley Avenue, Westwood)

TUESAY 5/19 – 10:30PM
Ladies & Gentlemen @ Tuesday Night Thunder (1444 North Sierra Bonita Avenue, Hollywood)

SATURDAY 5/23 – 11PM
Ladies & Gentlemen @ iO Black Box

THURSDAY 5/28 – TBA
Ladies & Gentlemen @ Crashbar (1523 La Brea Ave, 2nd floor)

Is there anything else that needs to be said?

You just saw a shark so huge that it took a bite out of the Golden Gate Bridge, and seconds later, jumped thousands of feet into the air to attack an airplane mid-flight! Oh yeah, and let’s not forget the fact that it also fights an equally ridiculous octopus.

This movie’s steadfast defiance of logic makes me want to see it more than anything else this summer.

“Okay, there are two important things you need to know if you wanna fight aliens: one, nothing makes a more secure airlock than wooden blinds…and two, shining a flashlight on an alien is the closest thing they can experience to death. They fuckin’ hate it.”

“Oh, and uh…don’t tell your moms I was here, okay? Pantsless Carl’s gotta stay outta jail so he can go and teach some other kids about fightin’ mummies in the back of his van.”

I thought so.