Seriously, what kind of bullshit alien hunter taught these kids how to fight extraterrestrials?
“Okay, there are two important things you need to know if you wanna fight aliens: one, nothing makes a more secure airlock than wooden blinds…and two, shining a flashlight on an alien is the closest thing they can experience to death. They fuckin’ hate it.”
“Oh, and uh…don’t tell your moms I was here, okay? Pantsless Carl’s gotta stay outta jail so he can go and teach some other kids about fightin’ mummies in the back of his van.”