Category Archives: movies

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus!

To those who don’t believe that dreams come true: you’re wrong.

Is there anything else that needs to be said?

You just saw a shark so huge that it took a bite out of the Golden Gate Bridge, and seconds later, jumped thousands of feet into the air to attack an airplane mid-flight! Oh yeah, and let’s not forget the fact that it also fights an equally ridiculous octopus.

This movie’s steadfast defiance of logic makes me want to see it more than anything else this summer.

A Totally Realistic Request

Quick, someone go and make an unofficial sequel to Troop Beverly Hills called Starship Troopers Beverly Hills, I want to watch it right now.

Up! trailer looks SQUIRREL!!!

I’ve been meaning to post this for awhile, but it was released while I was visiting Greece…

It’s like Windsor McKay, Miyazaki, and the Pixar guys got together and had a three-way brainbang…and I like it.

Saturday Morning Watchmen

Well, I finally caught Watchmen during a matinee showing today at the Vista. I’d say $6.50 was exactly the amount of money I felt comfortable spending on it.

I had pretty low expectations, but left the theater impressed with the visuals and a lot of the individual moments the film had to offer (the Comedian’s death, Dr. Manhattan’s flashbacks, the terrifying brutality of the rape scene)… but overall, I don’t the movie really holds up.

Comparisons to the graphic novel aside, I just think there was a little too much bad acting floating around. Silk Spectre and Sally Jupiter were stiff in their line deliveries and generally pretty awful, which is a shame, because I thought Patrick Wilson, Jackie Earle Haley, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan were all fantastic.

Wilson in particular blew me away; he really pulled off a nuanced performance despite playing in such a larger-than-life world (probably due in no small part to his musical theatre background).

I’d say watching this Saturday Morning Watchmen theme song is the second-best Watchmen related thing you can do with your time:

The first? Read the book.

Horton movie = actually pretty good

...or maybe he's crazy? I want to see that 'what if' play out in a mirror universe Horton.

...or maybe he's crazy? I want to see that 'what if' play out in a mirror universe Horton.

I know what you’re thinking: another desecrated classic. We all remember how Universal shit on Dr. Seuss with The Grinch. It wasn’t pretty – it was loud, obnoxious, and devoid of anything resembling heart. So why did I even watch Horton Hears a Who? Well, first of all, it was free: an Academy screener. So that helped.

Second of all, we (I wasn’t alone) started watching The Tale of Desperaux (not to be confused with Despero, a Justice League supervillain), and within exactly 6 minutes of enduring the film, we had to turn it off. It didn’t help that the first five minutes were elaborate, fanciful credits touting big name actor after big name actor after C-list actor after big name actor. Continue reading

Wait, so the Beethoven franchise still exists?

I just saw this banner ad while browsing the interweb:

Beethoven's 56th

Really? Another Beethoven movie? I didn’t know people still remembered the franchise! And how many misadventures can this canine get into?*

Maybe they’re just counting on spillover audienc from Marley & Me, because I don’t know what child currently living on the planet earth has a clue who or what Beethoven is. I feel like it was more of a fleeting pop culture phenomenon – like Pogs – both of which lost their luster sometime in the 1990’s.

But hey, why come up with new ideas for movies when you can keep recycling old franchises?

*The answer is 6, not counting the animated TV series, of which several dozen misadventures occurred.